How Sexual Pain Can Strengthen a Relationship
By Tara Langdale-Schmidt
Sexual pain not only causes agony and heartbreak for women. Men also suffer. And the physical, mental and emotional trauma can make or break a relationship or marriage.
I know. For four long years, I suffered the excruciating pain of Vulvodynia. I experienced sharp, stabbing, burning pain in my pelvic area, making it impossible to enjoy sexual intimacy with my husband-to-be, Jason. During that stressful and painful time, Jason was 100% supportive and caring. And that is not always the case when a woman suffers from sexual pain.
While I was going through the agony from sexual pain, Jason sympathised with me and never pressured me to have sex. As time went on and the pain became worse, we would stop. He knew the pain was not an excuse and the suffering was real and no one was to fault.
After numerous doctor visits that failed to diagnose my problem and undergoing several needless gynaecological surgeries, I seemed out of options. One doctor actually told me to drink a glass of wine before having sex!
From my previous positive experience using magnets to reduce back and neck nerve pain
after a car accident, I had a “lightbulb moment” to add neodymium magnets into a vaginal dilator. With the help of a friend, Robert Smithson, medical experts and advisers, I then turned my idea into a device that has helped women relieve pelvic pain and sexual discomfort.
Then the next step was to make this device available to women worldwide so I turned my idea into a successful startup business, VuVatech, a company dedicated to helping women who suffer from pelvic and vulvar pain.
Today, the device has allowed me and 22,000 women all over the world to live a more normal life and finally enjoying sex without pain….and bringing relief for the men who suffered along with them.
In the process, I’ve become an unexpected voice and advocate for women who suffer physically and mentally from sexual pain. Additionally, I’ve heard from women who told me that their marriages were saved and some went on to have children.
Jason and I always had a strong relationship that wasn’t based on sex. Now that we can have pain free sex, it makes our relationship even stronger. My advice to men: please be supportive and caring. Sexual pain should not end a caring, loving relationship. It can bring you closer together.